Heston Blumenthal may think they make a wonderful porridge and the French might love them slathered in garlic and butter but even if they were dipped in the finest Belgain chocolate and served to me by a naked Brad Pitt I wouldn't touch them with a 10ft pole.
What am I talking about? Well snails of course–the sworn enemy of all vegetable gardeners.
It's true to say that I've never exactly been on good terms with the slimey molluscs but now it truly is a war on an epic scale.
We'd been fairly snail free up until Easter bank holiday. We went away to the Peak District for a lovely long weekend. Upon our return we hurriedly checked the little garden to make sure everything was in order only to find that they'd had munched their way through an entire row of cos lettuce!
Now, I will admit this caused me a small problem, I might, just might, have a large and slightly irrational fear of the damn things... so what was I going to do? It got so bad on one rainy day there must have been about 30 all crawling and slurching their way across our garden wall. I couldn't touch them, couldn't even get close to the things.
What to do? I was well and truly stumped, after mulling it over for a night or two I had abit of a eureka moment—a litter picker,! It freed me from snail hell. Small, relatively inexpensive (think I paid a fiver for it) and the most wonderful gadget ever invented. Well the most wonderful gadget for a snail-a-phobic. I can now pick them up, lob 'em anywhere I please and I don't have to get closer than 4ft to the dirty things.
If you do one thing this weekend, buy a litter picker. You'll never regret it, I promise.
What happen to that big brave man you share your life with ,did he not protect you or did he push you out the door first
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